My Final Post

This is the last post for the blog a day thing that I wanted to do, and today's blog is gonna be kinda serious. It's about me and it's about the wedding, and how I feel w/ it getting closer every single day. I'm going to be completely honest, so if you're a bride to be and you're on a budget, then you're soon going to recognize w/ a lot of these emotions.
I am happy that I am going to marry Chris in 5 weeks and 6 days. I'm ecstatic. I'm also scared out of my head. I am completely freaking out. There is so much that needs to be taken care of that's not even happening on the wedding day. We still have no idea where we're going to be. My whole life I've known exactly what's going to happen to me (for the most part) and where I'm going to be. That's not the story come May.
I am going to start having to find time to go through all of my stuff and start donating and throwing away a bunch of stuff. It scares me. I've always had my stuff! I have tons of stuffed animals, and I went ahead and gave 2 of them away tonight to Olivia, my other flower girl. It didn't hurt to give them away since I know she's going to take good care of them, but I still have so much more to go through.
We still have to pay some people for the wedding and get all of that out of the way, and we still have to order a few things. We're about 90% there to where we can get married and I not stress about certain details. I'm super excited because I know that we have such fantastic vendors and they all work wonderfully together, so our wedding is going to be everything I've ever dreamed of, but me being me, I'm still going to stress over something. Hopefully, I will be tipsy enough to not care though.
I will drink at my wedding, but I will not get drunk! Another thing I am scared of is that we don't have a coordinator. We never put that in the budget, and we've always been telling ourselves that we can do this. We can pull this together ourselves. I've told people about our wedding, and they've asked who's coordinating, and when I say we don't have one, their jaw just kinda hits the floor. Yeah. Thanks for the warm fuzzies guys. I'm pretty sure, about 95% sure that Chris and I can do this wedding w/out a coordinator since we're surrounded by such amazing friends and family.
I've also been stressing out about our vows. I have no problem telling Chris how much I love him and how much he means to me, but it's difficult to find the perfect wording to the vows and promises that I need and want to make to him. I think I have it, but I'm such a perfectionist at my writing, that I'm probably going to edit it a million or so times. I want to make sure that what I say to him is as perfect as he is to me.
This wedding and this engagement has been a true test of patience. Chris and I have been together for about 8.5yrs, and we've been engaged for nearly 5. I've had no choice but to be patient. We haven't had to money or a place to stay or anything until now. Chris will graduate and have a job or being going to grad school. We will have a means to support us. All this time that we've spent planning has lead up to this. It's going to happen, and it's going to happen soon. Chris has about 3 weeks left of classes and I only have a few weeks left watching Sean and Emily, and I'm going to make sure that these are the best next few weeks. I only hope that the weather is nice so that I can do this for them.
The wedding is in 41 days. I'm still not sure when I want to show up to start getting ready for the wedding. All I know is that the ceremony starts at 4 and Chris and I are leaving the wedding to go to our new home at 9. It can be in Nashville or it may be here in Madison. We're praying Nashville. I'm scared and freaking out, because I stress and worry and that's a part of who I am. I'm learning (slowly) to just lay it down and relax, but I'm also excited. I'm so excited that I can't stop counting down or telling Chris and everyone else how many days we have left. I'm so excited that whenever I get the chance I look at my dress, and keep thinking I'm getting married in this. I am so excited that I can't help but look at Chris multiple times during the day and say "I'm gonna marry you"
Thank you guys for reading this blog and listening up to me as I spill out my life and what's going on this past month. I may start up another blog and just post on it whenever. I don't think that it'll be every day, because doing every single day has been difficult. Yesterday's didn't come out til close to 12:30 this morning. I hope that you guys have enjoyed this :)